Estranged From My Grief

When someone dies, polite society allows us space to mourn. Employers offer a bereavement period. Friends and family check in. Neighbors drop by with plates of food. There is a memorial service and sometimes a funeral, perhaps a shiva. Your community meets the moment in hopes that their support will make you feel less alone.

The further away a person is to you in blood relation, the smaller the available grieving space becomes. The death of an uncle is not met with the same compassionate response reserved for the death of a parent. Parents, children, and grandparents are about as wide as…